“AHHHHHH!”"Jeff What are you doing in here?” said Lorrie
“Ohhhh no!”said Jeff.(embaressed)
“Hey everybody!There’s a boy in the girls bathroom.”
All the girls said “I dont belive you!” Whispered the girls.
“Come out and look then.” said Lorrie.
All the girls came out and screamed from the top of there voices.
“AHHHHHHHHHH. Get out of here.”
By Kirstie
Well done Kirstie, great speech.
You might like to try a ? after Jeff in the first line. So it looks like this.
“AHHHHHH! Jeff?? What are you doing in here?” screamed Lorrie.
Try reading it when it’s punctuated like this. Does it sound better?
exelent work by keita